i often struggle with insomnia. most of the time i will play a repetitive game on my phone, such as solitaire, to help lull my mind. lately though, i have been listening to the pride and prejudice audiobook at night to help soothe me to sleep. another thing that might help is to drink a relaxing tea before bedtime, such as chamomile or a sleepy time tea. i find that having a warm cup of tea really relaxes me and helps put me at ease.

so yesterday this man came into the place where i work and i could immediately tell there was something off about him. anyway so he says to me “HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU THAT YOU LOOK NICE TODAY?” and i said “um, no.” so he says, “WELL YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO THINK I WAS GIVING YOU A COMPLIMENT, BUT I REALLY WASN’T, CAUSE IT’S A JOKE. BECAUSE I AM A FUNNY GUY. BUT YOU DO LOOK NICE. “

at this point i was at a loss for words and just walked away. but because my life is awesome, he was the only customer in there so i kind of hid in the back for like 20 minutes. before he left he came up to me again and said “OK WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU THAT YOU REMINDED THEM OF A SWAN? WOULD YOU THINK THEY WANTED YOU FOR LUNCH?”

oh god, guys. i am laughing hysterically just thinking about it. what do you say to something like that? well i didn’t say anything. i just stared at him for a long time until he said something like “SORRY IT’S JUST THAT I FELL OUT OF A MOVING VEHICLE IN EIGHT GRADE.” and then proceeded to stuff a bunch of singles in the tip jar before running out.

you just can’t make this shit up.

fortressofself:

man i really wanna make some friends cause im so fucking bored of sitting around on the internet but whenever im in a situation where i could potentially make some friends i keep to myself and all i can think about is how i wanna be back in my room doing nothing

(via what-is-this-i-dont-even)